Counselling Wednesday ....
As usual, I talked about Rob and about Mom, how I still missed them so terribly. They had both been so close to me that losing them was like having parts of my soul torn away.
I also talked about how the death of my friend Helen Henderson affected me. Not only had Helen been a friend, she'd also spoken out for people with disabilities, making sure that their voices were heard, their rights met. It upsets me that such a wonderful person like Helen had to leave this Earth, especially with all of the cuts to funding and the negative attitudes towards people with disabilities.
As with the loss of Rob and Mom, Helen's death has left me feeling like a chink of armour has fallen onto the ground. And yet, with another vulnerable spot exposed, I must remind myself that I am not totally defenseless.
I told my counsellor about the birthday party.
And, I showed pictures of my new spring dress too.
I explained to my counsellor that a lot of the time, since Mom and Rob's death, I feel both sad and ... somehow off-kilter. However, by having birhday party for my cats; buying pretty dresses; and, entering my paintings into galleries and festivals I can perhaps trick myself into being truly, consistantly happy.
Keep on smiling until you feel it, that's what I say!
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