Thursday, April 23, 2015

Stuck With Admin Work

It's rainy and dismal outside.  I keep catching myself dozing off.  My muscles and joints hurt like bastards.

I yearn to focus upon something artistic - a new painting, or write the poem that has been struggling to emerge for days - but I know I need to do some admin work before I can start anything like that.

Oh bloody hell!  I see snow!

Oh well ... maybe there's sunshite and paint in tomorrow's future!

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Keep on Smiling Until You Feel it!

Counselling Wednesday ....

As usual, I talked about Rob and about Mom, how I still missed them so terribly. They had both been so close to me that losing them was like having parts of my soul torn away.

I also talked about how the death of my friend Helen Henderson affected me.  Not only had Helen been a friend, she'd also spoken out for people with disabilities, making sure that their voices were heard, their rights met.  It upsets me that such a wonderful person like Helen had to leave this Earth, especially with all of the cuts to funding and the negative attitudes towards people with disabilities.

As with the loss of Rob and Mom, Helen's death has left me feeling like a chink of armour has fallen onto the ground.  And yet, with another vulnerable spot exposed, I must remind myself that I am not totally defenseless.

I told my counsellor about the birthday party.

And, I showed pictures of my new spring dress too.

I explained to my counsellor that a lot of the time, since Mom and Rob's death, I feel both sad and ... somehow off-kilter.  However, by having birhday party for my cats; buying pretty dresses; and, entering my paintings into galleries and festivals I can perhaps trick myself into being truly, consistantly happy.

Keep on smiling until you feel it, that's what I say!

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Another Painting Finished

Another painting is finished.  I call it LuLu in My Old Bedroom.

LuLu was the family cat, and she used to come into my bedroom and sit on the window sill. I have fond memories of LuLu and growing up in that house, in that room.

I can still see crab apples falling from the tree outside my window; still smell the aroma of coffee brewing from the kitchen;  and, hear the sweet tones of my mother's voice calling everybody to breakfast.

Painting is definitely the best!

Monday, April 20, 2015

Working a Double

I was ill on Saturday, so I didn't get to go to the market.

Now, after a busy day of shopping and interviewing a person to be a possible new employee, I'm painting again.

I'm doing two paintings at once. I'm so full of energy!

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Happy Birthday, Boys!

Happy Birthday, Boys!

I can't believe you're nine years old today. My boys are growing up so fast! In cat years you're a year or two older than I am now.

For nine years, I've loved  you; doted on you; cared for you; and obseessed about you.  No wonder! Besides being cute and cuddly, you're also funny; sweet; and, emotionally supportive.

I loved you as kittens, and now in middle age, and I'll love you forever! You're my boys, my jesters, my comfort providers, and my muses.

I love you two!

Friday, April 17, 2015

Decisions, Decisions

I'm in a lot of pain and feeling very nauseous.

Should I go to the market tomorrow or stay home and rest?

Hmm ....

I'll sleep on it.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

My Friend Helen Part II

As for me, Helen really changed my life. Those two articles about attendant abuse put me on the fast track to getting direct funding, which allowed me the power to both hire and fire my own employees. This is so huge and important to my life, I'm not too sure what else to say without it sounding trite. To say Helen saved my life might seem like an exaggeration, but its actually true. I'm not sure were I would be today if Helen had not written those articles.

Thank you, Helen.

I will never forget you Helen, and I'm sure no one else you've helped over the years will either.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

My Friend Helen

Today my friend Helen Henderson passed away from lung cancer.  She was 68.  Helen didn't even smoke.

Star's Helen Henderson--champion-for-thedisabled-dies at 68.

Our friendship began 10 years ago, when I went to her desk at the Star and asked her if she could review an anthology book in her next column. She agreed, and said that she was particularly interested in reading the story I had written.  "Finally, a Book to Help Parents of Disabled

Several months later, after I was fed up with fighting with Tobias House about its abusive attendants, I contacted Helen again to help me expose what was going on, not just in my building but at other on-site attendant care facilities.

The shit hit the fan.  Helen wrote not one but two exposees on the subject.  People with disabilities from all over Ontario wrote in to the paper, telling their own accounts of abuse. The government began to investigate thesse claims, and they also made it mandatory for everyone applying as an attendant to first take a course and receive a certificate.

As for me -

To be continued ....

Monday, April 13, 2015

I Just Want to Paint

I had a great, brilliant, and fun day!

But, honestly, I just want to paint now ....

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad Day

Please excuse me if I don't even want to talk about today.

I just want to chill out, watch Gotham, and eat spaghetti.


Saturday, April 11, 2015

A Long, Long Saturday

I'm already very tired and the day has barely started.

One of my new trainees is a smoker and went outside on the balcony before bed to have a cigarette. Unfortunately, she didn't close the balcony door tight enough so the wind kept blowing it open and shut. I think this affected my two cats, because they both jumped on me repeatedly throughout the night. They also fought on my bed too.

In the morning, I had to train the same person to do my Saturday morning routine and then race over to the market to work.

After I leave the market, I'm having dinner with my brother Bruce and his two kids. And, when I get home, I'm expecting Motria to come over and watch TV, or maybe rent a movie.

I need to ask Motria an important question.

Friday, April 10, 2015


I've worked so hard today, and now I'm going to try to finish my painting so I can take it to the market tomorrow.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 9, 2015

The Best

Frank Zappa:  "Music is the best."

Aaron Shelbourne:  "Sex is the best."

Hershey & Rascal Abbott:  "Without a doubt, food is the best!"

Anne K. Abbott:  "Creating art is the absolute best!"

Of course, we are all right ...